We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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