do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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