Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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