I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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