operation have a gay friend backfired
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
