he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
