Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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