no, he came in my armpit
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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