I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
