Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
