There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Please, let me fuck your mom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
