I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
