Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize