yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
