I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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