p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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