Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
