bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
