omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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