The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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