I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Randomize
