Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
