I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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