Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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