I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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