Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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