Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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