Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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