ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
