Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
