i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
