Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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