so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
