Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
