I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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