And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
