I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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