fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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