Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
