I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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