Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
