have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
