i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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