Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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