Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
