I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
