Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
