Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The uberlube is also flammable
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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