kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
