Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
